Shin kona mamakin mi yasa iyalinka bata da sha'awa? Ko kema kina mamakin mi yasa baki jin dadin jima'i ko baki da sha'awa? Sai ku duba ku gani mai yiwuwa wannan bayanai zasu iya baku haske akan matsalar dake damunku domin neman mafita.
Duk da yake anfi ganin cewa mata sunfi maza yawan sha'awa da son jima'i a yanayin halittarsu akan maza, ba abin mamaki bane a sami akasin haka wani lokacin, cewa akwai mata da yawa wanda basa da sha'awa ko kwadayin jima'i saboda wasu dalilai na lafiya . Hakan na faruwa inda zaka sami mace na gudun kwanciyar aure ko bata damu da ayi kwanciyar ba ko kada ayi (duk daya ne a gurinta) saboda koda anyi ma bata jin dadin jima'in sam , ko kuma bata jin dandanonsa irin yanda take tsammani ake ji , kamar yanda sauran mata 'yan uwanta ke jin dadin rayuwar aure da mazajen su. Tana yin kwanciyar aure ne kawai a matsayin wani aiki (duty) na biyan bukatar mijinta ba bukatar taba, kuma ba don tana jin dadi ba ko gamsuwa , saidai kawai don bautar aure ko gudun fushin sabawa al'ada, ko kuma domin kare mijinta daga fadawa tarkon zina. Hakika akwai mata da yawa da suke cikin wannan yanayin rayuwar aure marar dadi, wanda sun hakura da hakkinsu na jin dadin aure inda wasu matan kuma ke kokarin neman mafita daga wannan matsala ta neman hakkinsu daga mazajensu ko neman magani, koma kokarin fahimtar matsalar dake hana su jin dadin da nufin neman warwarar matsalarsu. Wannan kalubale ne babba.
Anan zamu ari wasu bayanan lafiya domin bada haske ko bayani akan wasu daga cikin dalilan da yasa wasu mata basa da sha'awa, ko basa jin dadin jima'i (salaf suke ji), ko basa jin dadi sosai, ko kuma ma basu taba jin dadin ba a rayuwar aurensu. Wasu dalilai nada alaka da macen, wasu kuma namijin ne. Sune kamar haka:
1. CIWON SANYIN MARA KO MATSALOLIN MARA DA MAHAIFA: Kama daga sanyin mara (vaginities/toilet infections, UTI & STDs), yoyon fitsari, 'kululun mahaifa (fibroid), da sauran cututtukan al'aura na daga cikin abubuwan da ka iya hana mace jin dadin jima'i.Misali, sanyin gaba mai zuwa da 'yan 'kananan kuraje cikin farji , na sanya mace taji zafi wajen jima'i yayinda zakari ke kai-kawo cikin farji, wanda sau da yawa masu kurajen basu ma san suna da kurajen ba cikin al'aura, saidai suce suna jin zafi lokacin saduwa. Kurajen suna fashewa saboda da gugar zakari, sai wurin ya zama rauni. Hakan nasa mata tsoron jima'i da ganinsa abin azabtarwa gare su mai maimakon abin jin dadi. Sau tari basu san abinda ya haddasa zafin ba, wanda kuma mai yiwuwa ciwon sanyi. Ciwon sanyi na iya dakushe sha'awar mace ko namiji. Ciwon sanyi na iya haddasa bushewar gaba (vaginal dryness) wanda alamunsa shine daukewar ni'ima da 'kaikayin gaba. Idan gaba ya bushe zaiyi wahala mace da miji suji dadin jima'i in banda zafi. Haka kuma shima 'kululun mahaifa (fibroid) yakan ci karo da zakari cikin farji sai mace taji wani irin yanayi marar dadi (discomfort) lokacin nishadin aure. Kuma yana danne mahaifa ya hana haifuwa da kuma sanya yawan zubar jini. Don haka neman magani shine mafita.
2. BUDADDEN GABA: Rashin tsukakken farji yanda zai damki zakari da kyau domin samar da jin dandanon fata-da -fata a matse. Budadden gaba kalubale ne dake sanya raguwar jindadi tsakanin ma'aurata. Sau da yawa ma'auratan biyu ba zasu sami gamsuwa ba da kyau, sa'annan macen baza ta iya jin 'kololuwar dadi ba (orgasm). Akwai dabarun kwanciya da magani na zamani da zasu iya magance wannan matsala.
3. KACIYAR MATA (WUCE GONA DA IRI WAJEN YINTA): kaciyar mata (female circumcision) wacce Wanzan ya yanke beli da yawa fiye da yanda ya dace. Yin hakan na kashe sha'awar mace idan ta girma. Da yawa mata an yanke musu sha'awa a duniya tun lokacinda suna jarirai. Wasu al'adun a duniya suna yanke beli ne kadan, wasu kuma kamar rabi ne ake fillewa, wasu kuma cire shi suke duka, wato yanke shi suke gaba daya. Yanke beli da yawa ko duka matsalace dake hana mace jin dadin jima'i, domin kuwa beli (clitoris) shine matattarar jin dadin jima'in mace. Kamar yanda dai Malamai sukai bayani cewa yin kaciyar mata Mustahabbi ne a Musulunci, Sharia kuma tayi nuni da cewa kada a wuce gona da iri wurin yankan, ba kamar yanda wasu wanzamai ke aikatawa ba yanzu. To sai a nemi bayanan Malaman Sunnah domin fahimtar mas'alar baki daya. Bugu da kari, za'a iya neman magani domin inganta jin dadin aure.
4. MAGUNGUNA : Ko shakka babu akwai nau'in magungunan turawa ko gargajiya da zasu iya dakushe sha'awar mace, misali magungunan da ake bayarwa domin rage ciwon damuwa ko tsananin 'bacin zuciyar mutum (antidepressants) da sauransu. Kina mamakin cewa ada kina da sha'awa amma yanzu shiru ne toh mai yiwuwa wannan maganin da kike sha wata da watanni , ko cikin satin nan , shine ke sace miki sha'awa. Yana da kyau duk maganin da aka bawa marar lafiya a asibiti ko wani wuri yasan tutsun maganin ("side-effects" nashi) don kada wani abu ya dameshi bai san abinda ya jaza masa ba.
5. RASHIN INGANTACCEN ABINCI MAI LAFIYA: Idan mace bata cin abinci mai kyau ta koshi wanda zai inganta lafiyarta da jikinta da sinadarai na ni'ima ,to sha'awarta tamkar shukace wacce bata samun ruwa wacce zata mutu. Kifi, naman kaza, madara, yogat, hanta, kwai, zuma, dabino, aya, gyada, kankana, aiba da sauran abincin mai gina jiki da kuzari tare da 'ya'yan itatuwa zasu iya cika mace da sha'awa da ni'ima bayan 'daukewar sha'awa. Wadannan abubuwa marmari da abinci tamkar taki ne da ruwa ga shuka, wato sha'awar 'ya mace. Don haka mazaje su siyama matansu kayan dadi domin moruwa daidai gwargwadon hali.
6. SAURIN INZALIN MAIGIDA/ SAURIN KAWOWA/RASHIN KARFIN MAZAKUTA: Wannan matsalar nada alaka da mazajen aure kai tsaye. Wannan matsalar na cutawa mata sosai kuma wani lokacin tana da alaka kai tsaye da rashin karfin mazakuta. Idan akwai karfin mazakuta ga namiji koda ba babba bane zakarin zai iya gamsar da iyalinsa idan akwai karfi sosai, kuma zai dade yana saduwa da iyalinsa har ta biya bukatarta. Haka kuma idan muka kalli matsalar ta wata mahangar, hakan na faruwa ne saboda rashin sha'awar namiji - wato sinadaran jima'insa (sex hormones /low testosterone) sun ragu ko sunyi 'kasa , ko kuma hawan-jini ko ciwon-suga suke haddasa masa matsalar ko ma yawan sinadarin kolesterol ko wasu matsalolin zagayawar jini. . Don haka cin abinci mai inganta lafiya da harkar jima'i ko magani mai kyau da likita yayi izini dashi zai iya gyara matsalar. Mafi yawan lokutta mata na bukatar tsawon lokaci kamin su kawo (kololuwar dadi /"orgasm") sabanin lokacinda maza da dama ke iya jurewa su biya musu bukata. Don haka, yin wasanni , yima iyali wasa tsawon lokaci (foreplay) na iya fansar lokacinda maigida baya iya kaiwa ta yanda mace zata iya fara biyan bukatarta ko kawowa kamin saduwa da ita ta.
7. RASHIN FAHIMTAR YANAYIN JIKIN MACE DA BUKATUNTA NA KWANCIYA : Ko wace mace da irin bukatunta na jima'i , akwai irin abinda take so ayi mata da na'uin kwanciyar da take jin dadinta amma da yawa kunya na hana mata bayyana abinda suke so, don haka sai subar mazajensu cikin duhu suna ta kokarin jarraba abubuwanda basa yi musu. Don haka matan aure su fidda kunya domin tattaunawa da mazajensu akan abinda suke so wajen jima'i da mazajen suma su bayyana irin bukatun nasu domin fahimtar juna da jin dadin rayuwar aurensu. Haka kuma yana da kyau maigida ya rinka lura da nazari akan bukatun wasu sassan jikin matarsa idan mai yawan kunya ce. Yau da gobe zai iya gane abinda ke yimata wajen saduwa. Yau da gobe zaka tara ilimi mai yawa akan bukatar matarka amma idan har kana lura da kyau.
8. WASA DA GABA: Idan mace na wasa da farjinta (istimna'i) da yatsa ko wani abu ta take sakawa, zai iya sanyawa taji bata jin dadin jima'i ko gamsuwa da maigidanta sai tayi istimna'i saboda tafi kowa sanin jikinta da mallakarsa, ta gano bukatunta na shaidan wanda aurenta bazai iya biya mata ba. Musamman bainar zawarawa da 'yan mata wannan abune game gari, da yawa sun saba biyama kansu bukata kuma zai iya shafar tarayyarsu da mazajen da zasu aura nan gaba. Kamar dai yanda muka yi bayani a wata wallafar mu a can baya cewa, istimna'i nasa wuyar kawowa ga mace wajen jima'i (dalilin koyama jikinta da sai an taɓa wani sashen farji don ta kawo, wanda mai yiwuwa ne zakari baya taɓa wurin lokacin saduwa - a zahirin jima'i. Don haka istimna'i yana sa rashin gamsuwar jima'i ga mace - mijinta zai sha wahala wajen gamsar da ita. Jikinta ya riga ya koya, tayima kanta horo. Zata ringa tunanin mijinta baya iya gamsar da ita ko mazaje data aura, saboda sabon da tayi da koyama jikinta hanyar gamsar da kanta fiye da hanyar da ta dace, wato jima'i a cikin sunnar aure. Ta canza dabi'ar ta. Da yawa zaka samu cewa mata masu yawan istimna'i basu jin daɗin jima'i sai istimna'i, koma basu gamsuwa sai sunyi istimna'i a bandaki bayan saduwa da mazajen aurensu. Wannan zai iya kawo babbar matsala a cikin aure.
9. ALJANIN SOYAYYA(JINNUL AASHIQ): kamar dai yanda muka tattaro wasu bayanai daga Zauren Fiqh da wata mabubbugar. Aljani na iya shiga jikin mace da sunan soyayya ya dinga saduwa da ita koma ya aureta. Hakan zaisa aljanin ya hana ta aure, ko haifuwa, ko rashin zama lafiya da miji idan tayi auren, kuma zaisa mata daukewar sha'awa da ni'ima ga mijinta, ko zubar jini ko ruwa mai wari koma gaban mijin yaki mikewa lokacin saduwa. Zata rinka mafarkin ana saduwa ta ita wanda shedanin zo mata da siffar mijinta ko wani mutum, ko siffar mace na saduwa da ita. Ko ta dinga ganin mutum tsirara gabanta. Wadannan suna daga cikin alamomin, kuma dalilin take hana mace jin dadin jima'i ko sha'awa.
10. RASHIN SHA'AWA SABODA KARANCIN SINADARAN JIMA'I A JINI KO CIWON DAMUWA : Karancin sinadarin jima'i da sauye-sauyen halittar mace( low estrogen) na iya haddasa sallacewar sha'awar mace. Alamomin karancin sinadarin sune: jin zafi wajen jima'i saboda rashin ruwan gaban mace, zuwan al'ada ba akan lokaci ba ko rashin yinta , karuwar cututtukan mafitsara (UTIs) canjin yanayin rai - daga farin ciki zuwa damuwa, ciwon nono, ciwon kai, ciwon damuwa , kasala, wuyar lura ko nazari , rashin 'kwarin 'kashi, da sauransu. Idan ba'a magance matsalar ba zai iya sanya mace rashin haifuwa. Abubuwanda ke haddasa karancin sinadarin sun hada da: ciwon kwada mai tsanani, tsananin motsa jiki, zufar dare, gumin jiki, rashin bacci , rashin cin abinci saboda tsoron yin 'kiba; haka kuma, ga mata wanda suka haura shekara 40 na haifuwa karancin sinadarin na iya zama alama ne cewa sun kusa gama al'ada. Don haka sai aga likita domin magance matsakar ko a nemi magani. Allah Ya taimaka.
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